Nobody enjoys holding a difficult conversation in the workplace, but the reality is that they are an inevitable part of every leadership role. Whether it’s addressing poor performance or behaviours, turning down employee requests or tackling personality clashes, it can be tempting to bury your head in the sand. However, mastering the art of holding difficult conversations with employees will enable you to get the best from your team by providing them with the opportunity to grow and improve.
Picture the scene, you know you need to speak to an employee about a potentially contentious or sensitive subject, which is likely to result in an emotional reaction from the employee. As a manager you might feel outside of your comfort zone and worry about how to approach the conversation and how the employee will react. These difficult conversations in the workplace can be particularly hard when the manager has a close relationship with the employee and is concerned about upsetting them and the impact this may have on their working relationship.
The ability to be able to talk about very sensitive and emotive issues is an integral part of effective line management and can be critical to managing performance, promoting attendance and improving team dynamic.
Examples of difficult conversations in the workplace
- poor performance, conduct or attendance issues;
- personality clashes;
- redundancy situations;
- personal problems impacting in work;
- internal job applications;
- performance reviews;
- hygiene issues;
- declining employee requests eg. a pay rise
Key things to avoid when having a difficult conversation in the workplace
Don’t bury your head in the sand
Most importantly, don’t avoid holding a difficult conversation in the workplace. All too often managers shy away from difficult workplace conversations in the misguided hope that the issue will blow over. Not only does this deny the employee the opportunity to improve, it could also mislead the employee by giving them the impression that everything is fine. Furthermore, it could have a damaging impact on productivity and team morale.
Don’t wait too long
Similarly, don’t procrastinate and leave the conversation for too long. It’s much easier to have a quiet word at the first sign of trouble, than to leave things to fester or escalate.
Don’t sugar-coat
In an effort to avoid upsetting the employee, another common mistake is to sugar-coat the message. Stick to the facts.
Don’t become emotional
Finally, if the conversation doesn’t go smoothly, avoid raising your voice or becoming emotional as this will only encourage a similar response from the employee. Instead, remain objective and focus on the facts.
Preparing for a difficult conversation in the work place
Build trust
Building a trusting relationship with your employees will make it easier to navigate difficult workplace conversations, as employees will feel more comfortable receiving constructive feedback and will know that your intentions are positive. They will also be more likely to speak to you proactively if they are experiencing difficulties.
Think about the practicalities
Carefully consider the timing of the meeting. It’s important that the conversation takes place without delay. Make sure you allow sufficient time for the meeting, bearing in mind the employee might need to take a break from the conversation if they become emotional. Don’t schedule the meeting immediately before an important deadline, as the employee may need space to process the feedback.
Choose a private location where you won’t be observed or interrupted, such as a meeting room. Consider the layout of the room; sitting opposite someone can feel quite formal. Before the meeting starts, switch your phone off to ensure you give the conversation your full attention and don’t become distracted.
Don’t wing it!
To prepare for a difficult conversation in the workplace you need to have established the relevant facts. If the purpose of the meeting is to discuss a performance, conduct or absence issue, make sure you have specific examples that you can share with the employee and don’t forget to check the relevant employment policies. Consider writing a ‘script’ or points that you need to cover to act as a aide memoire.
Tips for holding effective workplace conversations with confidence
If you approach difficult workplace conversations from a position of empathy, compassion and honesty, and you are willing to listen to the employee’s perspective, it is more likely that the conversation will be effective.
- Be clear, specific and honest
- Actively listen
- Put yourself in their shoes
- Respond appropriately to emotional reactions
- Take a collaborative approach to a solution (if appropriate) – how could we do this differently in the future?
- Agree clear expectations
What to do after a difficult workplace conversation
After the difficult workplace conversation takes place, it’s important to check in with the employee to see how they are. Once they’ve had time to process the conversation, they may want to discuss the feedback further or ask questions. This ‘check in’ is a way of reconnecting and ensuring the relationship is maintained.
Keep an eye on their progress and celebrate successes to keep them motivated. If progress falters, then quickly address this with them and brainstorm how to get back on track.
To avoid a breakdown in trust, make sure you treat all team members fairly and consistently by holding them to the same performance and behaviour standards. It’s also really important that you maintain confidentiality, as failure to do so can damage the relationship and contribute to a toxic working environment.
If you have any questions on this subject please get in touch with Carrie
